Some things never change.
Some things never change.
Not too long now before I’m back in the bubble
the first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must of been like YOOOOOOOOO
I can’t believe this is my last week in spain.
How do I explain.
Me cago en la leche!! No me jodas puta madre!!!
Che cazzo! Funculo! Asorre’t!
my personality varies from unbearably clingy to disturbingly distant and there is no inbetween
In university beginning freshman year, I went through a series of reocurring nightmares. I remember particularly at the end of the year during move out week, I was super stressed out—the end of a crazy year, the dreading of going back home to have a lonely summer. My dorm didn’t feel right with all the furniture rearranged. Jessie my roommate moved out a few days early. So I was there alone.
In the wee hours of the morning, I was having a severe panic attack. It felt like i could hear everything. With the lights off, I just felt something always in the room with me. In my empty closet. Under my bed. At the door. Creeping down the hall. Even when I hit the lights on, I still didn’t feel safe.
Desperate and crazed, I messaged you urgently and begged you to go on skype. Luckily you were there to respond and soon you were online. I clutched to the sight of your face as much as a mac screen would allow me. You could see how distressed I was with mindless tears rushing down my face, fear apparent in my eyes. I wouldn’t let you leave my side. Eventually I fell asleep on camera.
Thank you for that. You have no idea how much you saved me that night.
Those nightmares and panics followed me to sophomore year. Sometimes you were there with me at night directly at my side, my personal guardian protecting me from the havoc wreaking inside my mind.
Only once, I’ve had that nightmare abroad, in Córdoba. It wasn’t as simple to reach out to you.
Now, I think I’ve learned how to save myself. And moreover, its no longer your duty to be my guardian.
But thank you, thank you so much for being there when I needed you in those helpless hours.
Thank you for once upon a time being my dreamcatcher.
Guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one-night stand
But I still need love ‘cause I’m just a man
These nights never seem to go to plan
I don’t want you to leave, will you hold my hand?
Oh, won’t you stay with me?
'Cause you're all I need
This ain’t love, it’s clear to see
But darling, stay with me
Why am I so emotional?
No, it’s not a good look, gain some self-control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn’t hurt
-stay with me, sam smith
easy to know what’s best for you
much harder to put that knowledge into practice
at least it makes a good story?
"remember that time when i fucked up X and Y…."
"you’re a person, not a vagina"
-jazz’ words of wisdom of the day